The Blog-Health-o-Meter™ reads This blog is doing awesome!.

Crunchy numbers

The Leaning Tower of Pisa has 296 steps to reach the top. This blog was viewed about 1,100 times in 2010. If those were steps, it would have climbed the Leaning Tower of Pisa 4 times

In 2010, there were 4 new posts, growing the total archive of this blog to 83 posts. There was 1 picture uploaded, taking a total of 2mb.

The busiest day of the year was May 27th with 79 views. The most popular post that day was Whisper.

Where did they come from?

The top referring sites in 2010 were facebook.com, ohemgeeyouscaredme.wordpress.com, loveecoffee.blogspot.com, sleepmoonfaerie.livejournal.com, and en.wordpress.com.

Some visitors came searching, mostly for disappointed, army cupcakes, essays.ph, buntis, and pinnochio.

Attractions in 2010

These are the posts and pages that got the most views in 2010.

Whisper October 2009
3 comments

Social Stigma September 2009
1 Like on WordPress.com,

Things That Make You Go Hmph! October 2009
2 comments

Two Moms December 2010
1 Like on WordPress.com,

Nihil December 2010
1 comment and 1 Like on WordPress.com,

FINALLY… after 10 years.

Sight lavishes on the feast-a-flicker;

Thousands are caught in my mind, dancing;

And I dance in thought like a child

Wanting to feel a star rest on my palm;

Gently I shall squeeze and rub once more.

Inside my head are images and colors parading;

I needn’t speak it – these eyes shout out

How amusing! Smiling and basking in the delight,

I succumbed to the splendor to rest my burdened spirit ;

These lights of the city’s might are a beacon,

While I toil and skin is scratched, hurt.

To see them shine upon the long path home

Warms the heart, cold of un-leisured life;

It calls on me every night and whispers hope;

Extends sympathy and hope that waiting ends here;

That the day these road-stars hail, will fill the void;

Yes, tomorrow’s different – starlights are brighter.

- ggv

***

I composed this on Nov. 17, 1997 while walking along Ayala Avenue and feeling like a child (the words were in my head and I just jotted them down when I got home).

That was the time when it was only in Makati that the Christmas light displays were really grand (along the avenue, inside the stores, on building facades).

After a really tiring day, the night lights made me feel relieved and hopeful.

(Don’t ask me why there has to be an anti-climax. I’d like to not dwell on it anymore.)

So, on Dec. 28 – we will be officially tied and the NSO docs will reflect this date instead of the original plan. (Pssst! We said, “No dwelling!”)

I am excited too, in a way since this is what I have waited for for so long. There are also advantages in making this move: 1) I am displaying how obedient I am; 2) I could start processing the changes in my IDs; 3) I’ll say, “I Do” twice.

The May 7 grand event pushes through though. After all, THAT is the original plan (Again with the dwelling…)

Anyway, 28 is a good number. We will have a very simple celebration that day. I’ll wear something nice, too.

I’m just worried I will have lost the momentum for May. Truth is – it’s not the same brand of wedding anymore (for me, i.e.). It’s like letting somebody spill the twists in a really good movie before you could watch it. It’s like overhearing somebody about a “surprise” birthday party for you before you could be surprised.

I’m dwelling, so I’m stopping right here.

My 9yo boy just had his first Holy Communion today. I couldn’t help but smile when I look at him behind the lens and see a big boy. (He’s not as big as his classmates, but still…) It seemed only yesterday that I waited for him outside his Nursery class because he would cry if he’d look back and see that I wasn’t there.

Ok, enough of the sentiments.

During the event held at the Divine Mercy chapel in Sikatuna Village, there was one instance that made me frown.

While we all lined up at the entrance (parents and kids), there was this other kid in front of Wacx who kept on looking around for his parent. He was really worried that he would walk the aisle alone. When he saw his mom, he shouted to call her attention. The mom approached the queue. She was wearing a pair of denim shorts, faded shirt, and house slippers. She blurted, “Kelangan ba talaga kasama pa nanay!!??” (Are moms really required to march, too?). The kid displayed a hurt look on his face and shouted, “KASAMA NGA DAW NANAY!” (Moms should march, too!). He then handed out the missalette to her. She raised a brow and brushed her son’s hand. She kept on moving about impatiently as if there was something more important waiting for her in another place.

If she looked back, she would see how silently pissed I was at how she was behaving. I tried to contain the part of me who would like to clobber this petite creature in front of me. I tried so hard to stop myself from saying something. If I failed in keeping my mouth shut, these might have been the words that would stab her:

- Kung ayaw mo samahan anak mo, umuwi ka na lang at tawagin mo ung kapitbahay nyo para samahan sha.

- Kung ayaw mo mag march kasi naka p*kp*k shorts ka, umuwi ka muna at magpantalon – tutal mukang dyan lang sa tabi tabi bahay mo dahil nakapambahay ka.

- Excuse me? Di mo ba alam na First Communion ng anak mo? Kala mo ba practice lang ulet?

- Di ako magtataka kung magmamadali lumaki anak mo para iwan ka.

I refuse to translate the above statements at the moment because I’m still pissed at the thought. They are best delivered in the vernacular.

She displayed the hostile stance the whole time.

I hate moms like her.

For love’s sunrise in bloom;

Need you look for flowers

Or even for sun-kissed notes?

Ah, forbid you – save dejection…

If his armor blocks the soft heart,

Then feed not on dreamy thoughts,

For if he waves a hand empty…

Only warm self and poise;

You shall have kept that smile,

And the feast shall move on…

****

Old, old poem I wrote  on Valentines ’97. Can you sense the longing for thoughtfulness?

I change the setting whenever I’m idle within the day.

HAPPINESS!

Here’s a video that could well be a wake-up call to those who are too sensitive about how others look at our race, when so many of us are racists or discriminating too, in a way.

There was this one episode where Ted lists down things he is too old to do since he’s in his 30s already. He has painted scenarios comparing how things were when he was in his 20s. He got the idea from watching Lethal Weapon movies. You see, Danny Glover says, “I’m too old for this stuff” a lot in the sequels.

After celebrating my 36th birthday, I realized I should also start with my own list, so here goes:

1. Wearing clothes that are too tight. It hasn’t occurred to me back in my 20s how comfy it is to have much looser apparels. For one, I don’t have to tuck my tummy in all the time (which btw, is something I have mastered since my tummy’s tucked even if i sneeze or do lol’s).
2. Drinking too much alcohol. I easily get wasted now.
3. Dancing while singing…. *hingal*
4. Carrying the baby around the  mall for a long time.
5. Walking around without direction on high heels.
6. Pretending to not feel disappointed when I’m in fact, screaming my guts out. My chest tends to tighten whenever I suppress my feelings these days.
7. Listening to any LOUD semblance of music.
8. Eating chicken skin (waaah!). They say it’s baaaad for health.
9. Tolerating bad attitude or spoiled brats who have no respect for authority. There was a time when I could stand being around them.
10. Not saying anything when people just won’t fall in line properly.

So far, there are ten. I will have to blog again when new things pop in my mind.

Long day and I’m ready
I’m waiting for your call
‘Cause I’ve made up my mind
My heart aches with a hunger
And the want that you were mine
No I cannot deny

So for one night
Is it all right
That I give you
My heart
My love
My heart
Just for one night
My body
My soul
Just for one night
My love
My love
For one night
One night
One night

When morning awakes me
Well, I know I’ll be alone
And I feel I’ll be fine
So don’t you worry about me
I’m not empty on my own
For inside I’m alive
That for one night
It was so right
That I gave you
My heart
My love
My heart
Just for one night
My body
My soul
Just for one night
My love
I loved
For one night
One night
One night
<Guitar Solo>
For one night
It was so right
That I gave you
My heart
My love
My heart
Just for one night
My body
My soul
Just for one night
My love
I loved
For one night
We loved
One night
One night
One night

You’re only just a dreamboat
Sailing in my head
You swim my secret oceans
Of coral blue and red
Your smell is incense burning
Your touch is silken yet
It reaches through my skin
And moving from within
It clutches at my breast

But it’s only when I sleep
I see you in my dreams
You got me spinning round and round
Turning upside-down
But I only hear you breathe

Somewhere in my sleep
Got me spinning round and round
Turning upside-down
But it’s only when I sleep

And when I wake from slumber
Your shadows disappear
Your breath is just a sea mist
Surrounding my body
I’m workin’ through the daytime
But when it’s time to rest
I’m lying in my bed
Listening to my breath
Falling from the edge
But it’s only when I sleep

I see you in my dreams
You got me spinning round and round
Turning upside-down
But I only hear you breathe

Somewhere in my sleep
Got me spinning round and round
Turning upside-down
But it’s only when I sleep
It’s only when I sleep

Up to the sky
Where angels fly
I’ll never die
Hawaiian high
In bed I lie
No need to cry
My sleeping cry
Hawaiian high

It’s reaching through my skin
Movin’ from within
Clutches at my breasts

But its only when I sleep….
I see you in my dreams
You got me spinning round and round
Turning upside-down
But I only hear you breathe

Somewhere in my sleep
Got me spinning round and round
Turning upside-down
But it’s only when I sleep

Up to the sky
Where angels fly
I’ll never die
Hawaiian high
In bed I lie
No need to cry
My sleeping cry
Hawaiian high

- The Corrs